Save Me

"And he tells everyone a story, 'cause he thinks his life is boring, and he fights so you won't ignore him, 'cause that's his biggest fear, and he cries, but you rarely see him do it, and he loves but he's scared to use it, so he hides behind the music, 'cause he likes it that way, and he knows he's so much more than worthless, he needs to find the surface, 'cause he's starting to get nervous..."

I was once told by a very dear friend that this verse from Thousand Foot Krutch's "This Is A Call" fit me to a tee. She was absolutely right. I hate who I am, what my life has become, and quite honestly, I hate being ignored. It makes me feel like I'm absolutely worthless, not worth anyone's time. I do cry, I'll admit it, but no one will ever see me do it, save for those in my home. I hide behind the music, because it's truly the only place I ever feel worth something anymore. I feel like these artists are writing a way for me to mask the pain I feel. I need to find a way out, because I truly am starting to feel nervous.

This friend of mine just happens to be my best friend, the girl I am head over heels in love with. I'm stricken with conflict as to what I should do about the situation. Do I confess how I truly feel and hope she feels the same way? Do I keep it all inside, not wanting to destroy the friendship we've come to forge? Later in the song, Trevor sings this bridge...

"Have you ever felt this way before? I don't want to hide here anymore, take me to a place where nothing's wrong, thanks for coming, shut the door, and they say someone sees us, well, if you're real, then save me, Jesus, 'cause I've been this way for far too long, I wasn't meant to feel alone..."

Save me, indeed, Jesus. I need guidance, a clear path, for this situation and for my life's plan. Save me.



jude